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The Reckless Alcoholic vs. Candy the Alligator
TäzejeMugallyma [off]
Şugün, 08:18
Once upon a time, the citizens of a massive metropolis dumped all their trash on the outskirts of the city. Instead of being destroyed, the garbage just kept piling up into mountains. Within this toxic wasteland, a wild mutation occurred among the harmful bacteria thriving in the filth. The most dangerous of them all was a bacterium named Candy.Candy made the absolute most of this trash buffet—eating, drinking, and growing absolutely massive. At first, it weighed 50 kilos, then 200 kilos, then quickly jumped to a ton. At the peak of its monstrous evolution, Candy weighed a staggering 5,000 tons! Its mouth stretched 4 meters wide, its height reached 18 meters, and its stomach volume was a whopping 300 cubic meters. It had fully mutated into a giant beast.Yet, its microscopic brain weighed a mere $-0.00000001\text{ mg}$. Too brainless to realize it looked like a hideous, mutated toad, Candy genuinely believed it was the most beautiful creature on Earth. So, one day, it proudly proclaimed itself the King of all Wastelands.Meanwhile, inside the city, there lived a homeless man named Ahmal the Alcoholic, who spent his days sleeping inside trash bins. Because Ahmal practically lived in dirty dumpsters, he harbored his own share of nasty bacteria. These internal bugs had withered him down to bone and skin.One fine day, while Ahmal was fast asleep inside a dumpster, the sanitation workers came by. Completely unaware that a human was inside, they loaded the bin and dumped Ahmal right into the main wasteland.When Ahmal finally woke up, he found the monstrous Candy the Alligator hovering over him, jaws wide open, ready to swallow him whole! Ahmal had to fight for his life. Snatching up pieces of old wooden furniture scattered in the trash, he jammed the wooden planks straight into Candy the Alligator's mouth.The wooden planks almost choked the beast to death! However, triggered by the primitive survival code written in its microscopic brain, Candy anticipated Ahmal's next move. Turning around, it launched a massive poop attack from its anus, burying Ahmal completely in feces.Refusing to go down without a fight, Ahmal aimed his own backside at Candy the Alligator and fired back with a poop counter-attack!This bizarre, disgusting poop battle raged on for three straight days. In the end, Candy the Alligator emerged victorious. Ahmal the Alcoholic was completely defeated and forced to surrender. Candy the Alligator gave Ahmal a harsh kick to the backside and roared:"If you ever raise a hand against me again, I will drown you in feces forever!"
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